Farewell My Liddy Friend

Yesterday I told you a little about my dogs. I adopted them one fateful day fifteen years ago and I believe there was a reason that these two dogs came into my life for a reason.

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed that one day I would own either a cocker spaniel or a poodle, perhaps even both. What I didn't know was that I wouldn't get my cocker spaniel until I was thirty-six.

My youngest son wanted a dog and I was going to adopt one at the local shelter. What I didn't realize was that I would also be walking away with a dog of my very own, a cocker spaniel no less. When I saw him curled up in the far end of his cage I knew I wanted him for my very own. I asked the shelter attendant if I could see if we were meant for one another. Once out of his cage I immediately realized that there was something wrong. I had never seen a dog whose body sloped before and when he hobbled over towards me I knew something was wrong.

I asked the attendant what was wrong with him and he pointed out that he was missing his front paw. I hadn't noticed it at first because his thick fur covered the small stump. His owner's family had brought him to the pound when his owner had been placed in a nursing home. I knew right then and there that we were meant to be together and I told the attendant I'd take him then looked around for my son who had head over to the puppy area of the shelter.

My son was none to happy about the idea of bringing this "girlie dog" home. As I mentioned before he wanted a dog who would run and play with him and who could blame him. I agreed to getting two dogs despite the fact that I realized that the major responsibility for both dogs would fall upon me. After christening one dog Big Dog I named the other dog Little Dog which morphed into Liddy Dog as I often spoke to them as though they were indeed babies.

Liddy Dog's first walk was a memorable one. Since he obviously seemed to have some difficulty walking I decided to take him to the end of the block and back. At most this walk should have taken five minutes. This would be the longest "five minutes" I'd ever experience. He seemed excited about the possibility but enthusiasm does not always equal ability. He'd walk five or six steps and then stop so he could sniff everything around him. My Liddy Dog was always a dog who immersed himself in things he loved. He'd sniff so loud I thought you could hear him blocks away. When I gave the leash a slight tug and encouraged him to come he plopped down and began rolling around in the grass trying to bring all the scents home with him. This scene was to be repeated again and again and again causing our five minute jaunt to last forty-five minutes. As time went by he got much better at going for walks but he never lost the need for stopping and smelling the flowers and anything else that he happened across.

Liddy Dog's often reminded me of Mr. Kesuke Miyagi (the handyman/martial arts master in the movie The Karate Kid). He loved to sit back and observe everything and was not one to let things bother him. He didn't warm up to new animals very easily, he tried to pretend they didn't exist, but anytime a new person walked into the house he immediately set about to make a new friend.

One of the things I loved so much about my Liddy Boy was how his whole body exuded joy in the things he loved. He didn't so much wag his tail as much as he would wag his whole body. When I would hold a treat in my hand or grab his leash he'd lift himself up on his back feet trying to balance his chubby self in a begging dance. His joy was infectious and it almost always served to brighten my most miserable of days.

Liddy Dog was a lover not a fighter. He loved to jump up on my bed and snuggle up close. In his little world, Liddy Dog never met a person who didn't want to pet him and he was not one to deny anyone this pleasure. He seemed to be able to read me better than some humans and would jump up on my lap and lick my face when he felt I needed it most.

Of my two dogs, Liddy Dog was the one who had more health issues but none of them seemed insurmountable until the last two years of his life. He was like a Timex watch because he could take a licking and keep on ticking this despite the fact that he eventually lost his hearing as well as his sight in both eyes.

Last winter we began to really see Liddy's downward slide. He caught a couple of respiratory infections and his eyes no longer made tears causing a dry crust to build up on his eyes. His vet told me that he also had cataracts and glaucoma. At times he would wander aimlessly throughout the house bumping into things, even though no furniture has been moved acting as though he were lost in his own home. Just three months ago he walked straight into the pool as though he'd forgotten it was there. He was living in a totally dark world, void of any hearing and it made me so sad.

Although never a fast moving dog he really began to slow down and seemed to tire easily. Liddy slept away most of the day waking only to eat or greet me at the door. He began developing a bladder infection that seemed to resist treatment. He was incontinent regardless of the frequency he was brought outside and I was constantly running behind him to wipe up his accidents.

I also noticed that he would sometimes tremble or shake when he was lying down. When I mentioned it to my husband he felt that he was probably having a dream about chasing a rabbit and I was quick to accept that explaination.

I realized that at the age of nineteen he was slipping away from me but as with Big Dog it was easier for me turn a blind eye to what was wrong with him and focus more on the things he still enjoyed like treats and curling up with me.

As I slowly came around to the realization that I needed to have Big Dog put down I began to honestly wonder if Liddy Dog was also ready to leave us. I would have given anything not to have had to make such a decision about the two dogs that had been my babies for so long. I prayed. I cried. I argued with my husband. I breathed the question aloud and regretted having put the question to words. Finally the decision was made and my husband and I decided that it was time but that does not mean that it was going to be easy.

The last morning I spent time with each dog. They curled up beside me and I wanted cancel the appointment again but I knew we had made the right decision. Why then did it hurt so bad?

In a way it was ironic that these two boys who joined my family on the same day would leave me on the same day. They had been almost inseparable from the moment they arrived in my home and now even in death they would not be alone.

Coming home to a house that no longer held my boys left a huge whole in my heart and I stuffed my hurt with food and tears. I can only hope that the confusion and pain I feel will eventually find peace. My heart empty without you Liddy Dog.

A Tribute To A Big Dog

About fifteen years ago we welcomed a special dog into our lives and we were never the same again.

It all began when my youngest son asked me for a dog. I was also interested in bringing a pet into our home and so I was easily persuaded.

That weekend we went to our local shelter where I found a cocker spaniel that captured my heart. When the worker took the cocker out of the cage I saw that he hobbled when he walked and that's the point where I made up my mind that we would take him. I was told that he was about four years old and no longer a cute little puppy add to that the fact that he was missing his front paw I was convinced if I didn't take him he would never be adopted.

My son on the other hand wasn't so hot on the idea of some "girlie dog". He wanted a manly dog and he pointed to a very active puppy declaring that he was "the one". It appears I had gone to the shelter to adopt one dog and wound up with two. The puppy, a Belgian Malinois, became known as Big Dog as opposed to the Cocker Spaniel who became known as Little Dog. 

I explained to my son the importance of laying ground rules for the dogs and help them understand that we were in charge. What I didn't seem to realize was that I was only in charge inasmuch as Big Dog allowed me to be in charge.

For example, the Dog Whisperer, would have been very upset at my first walk with Big Dog. Actually, calling it a walk it like calling a Monster Truck a little car. I had no sooner stepped out of the house, leash in hand when Big Dog began to take off like a shot. My hand had just slipped my keys into my pocket when I felt the leash pull my had straight through my pocket actually ripping the seam as my hand flew out. 

Looking back it was almost comical as he sped off and I struggled to maintain an upright position behind him. At one point on of my shoes came flying off as I stumbled over the curb then just as suddenly we came to a stop. Big Dog had decided that something was worth taking the time to sniff and so I took advantage of the moment to gasp for air. Getting him to turn around to retrieve my lost shoe was a bit of a struggle but we eventually found a pace for our walk that we both could tolerate. So much for showing Big Dog who was the boss.

It seems Big Dog made his own rules. For example, the dogs were not allowed to lay on the furniture. I was being pretty firm about that. When we were home neither dog would jump on the couch. They waited until we left the house to do that. Big Dog would slip onto the couch, and then leap off the coach when I arrived home. I can't tell you how many times I would arrive home to see his snout pressed against the window anxiously awaiting our return while standing on the coach. I would unlock the door to catch him jumping off the coach to greet me at the door his big tail thumping fast and furious.

"Big Dog," I would ask, "Were you on the coach again?" He would look away and then down as though he were saying, "OK you caught me but aren't you glad to see me?" He always knew that I was very glad to see him and so I could never ever stay angry at him. 

I didn't want them to get in the habit of begging for scraps. While I may have mouthed those words this as one of the first rules that we all broke as both dogs knew that my son and I were easy marks. 

When my husband and I married Big Dog managed to wrap him around his paw too. He would follow my husband around when he mowed our yard and every night would always conveniently position himself at my husbands feet. 

Big Dog may have been big but he wanted to be treated like a baby. He didn't let the fact that he no longer fit in my lap stop him from trying. He was a jealous boy and would use any excuse he could find to get you to pet him. 

Big Dog's name may not have been Lucky but he sure was. I wrote a couple of essays about him and one of them won him a year's supply of Hill's Science Dog Food. We had been so amazed about how this dog food had helped him that the essay pretty much wrote itself. Another essay had been about adopting animals from the pound which won him some dog treats. Of course the truth of the matter was that we were the lucky ones because big dog had been such a big part of our lives.

In the last year we've noticed big dog has been having some difficulties. One morning I took him out for a walk and he noticed a cat. Normally he would bark and act like he wanted to pursue the cat but this time he barked and his back legs went out from under him. I tried to get him to right himself but he needed me to help him up. This worried me so he went to the vet.

Our vet gave us the diagnosis of Canine degenerative myelopathy which is a progressive disease of the spinal cord in older dogs. The disease has an insidious onset typically between 7 and 14 years of age. It begins with a loss of coordination (ataxia) in the hind limbs. As of July 15, 2008 the mutated gene responsible for DM has been found present in 43 breeds including German Shepherds, Boxers, Chesapeake Bay Retrievers, Rhodesian Ridgebacks, and both breeds of Welsh Corgis. The disease is chronic and progressive, and resulting in paralysis.

We still felt there was time. Still felt there was too much left in big dog to say good bye but we watched as the signs slowly began to appear like dragging both rear paws when he walked. I tried to ignore the signs because I knew that they meant that Big Dog would one day leave us and I was not ready to have that happen. I was not ready to admit that it was finally time to say good bye. How can you say good bye to such a loyal and loving friend?

Finally we could no longer brush aside the painful truth. Big Dog could scarcely manage the stairs, he would become confused at times, and he often had to be helped up so he could go outside. While at some level we realized that the time had come neither my husband nor I could bring ourselves to admit it out loud.

We made and broke three appointments for the procedure. Then yesterday, I finally said goodbye to my two babies. It seems ironic that they came into my life together and left the same way. I decided to write my good-bye to Big Dog today and I will write my good-bye to Little Dog tomorrow. Sadly for us Degenerative myelopathy is a non-reversible, progressive disease that cannot be cured. We hoped and prayed that we would never have to make the decision to put our dogs down but we did. I realize that there will be those who feel that we were cruel to do so but what you must know is that we loved these dogs. We spoiled them and treated them like members of the family.

My husband and I both shared their last moments and we let them both know how much we loved them. Our vet and the employees were so very understanding of just how difficult this was for us and for that we are both so very thankful. 

Even though I am suffering from the pain of losing these wonderful dogs I would adopt another dog and welcome it into my heart. I hope others will open their hearts and homes to the unconditional love and joy an adopted pet can bring to your life.