A Fallen Friend - A Heart Like His

The splendor of Israel lies slain on your heights.  How the mighty have fallen (2 Samuel 1:19)

What has GOD shown you during seasons of grief?  What have you learned about Him, about yourself, and about your own expectations of what life really means?

When my father died earlier this year it was very difficult.  His death opened wide the chasm between my siblings and I.  I looked upon my father as the glue that held this fragile family together and I saw his death as the final fracture of what remained of our family.

I was blindsided by my overwhelming emotions and bewildered by the whirling confusion of grief.  At times I could scarcely breathe with the force of it.  

Knowing the Lord and knowing His comfort did not take away the ache; but it helped to know that God was there for me. I am never alone.  He comforts me with his presence, and helps me find peace in my pain.   

How has grief changed your relationship with Him?

God is at our side during our loss, often not speaking yet knowing our pain and sharing in our suffering. He knows the pain of having a child despised and rejected, and killed.

Jesus is our best role model for combining faith and grief, as revealed in John 11:1-45. When He saw Mary and Martha in anguish over the death of their brother Lazarus, He wept and groaned. Although Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, He still allowed Himself to feel – and express – the depths of human sorrow.

We can take comfort in knowing that Jesus has experienced all of our pain, including loss, rejection, betrayal, and dying. As our Savior and Redeemer, He took all our sins to the cross and forgives us when we ask. As our Good Shepherd, He leads us safely through “the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4b). Remember, a shadow indicates that there is a light on the other side!

A Debt Of Gratitude - A Heart Like His

When the residents of Jabesh-gilead heard what the Philistines had done to Saul, all their brae men set out, journeyed all night, and retrieved the boy of Saul and the bodies of his sons from the wall of Beth-shan (1 Samuel 31: 11-12)

Think of some of the specific kindnesses sown you and the sacrifices made by the people in your life.  How could you express your thanks to them over the next few days? 

GOD has put many people in my life who have helped me in large and small ways.  Looking back I may not have acknowledge the sacrifices they made for me. It’s important to give credit to other people for our successes. In the next few days I will call those who have been there for me by calling them just to say thank you and letting them know that I appreciate the things they did for me. 

What barriers or distractions need to come down in your life so that you can easily keep your responses of gratitude flowing?

I suppose my biggest barrier is the fact that like many people I tend to dwell on the negative.  This negative bias tends to set my focus on the problems, irritations, and injustices in my life rather than focusing on being grateful for the events or people in our lives that are working and we feel good about.

Sometimes the difficult times in your life can blind you to the things for which you should be grateful.  It is important to be grateful to everyone. I need to be grateful to those who have helped, to those who have hindered as well as to those who have been indifferent. Be grateful to all, because these individuals helped shape the person I have become.  

Alone With GOD – A Heart Like His

David was in a difficult position because the troops talked about stoning him, for they were all very bitter over the loss of their sons and daughters.  But David found strength in the Lord his GOD (1 Samuel 30:6) 

GOD often transforms painful times in precious times when we realize we are all alone with Him.  How have those seasons of life forged a bond between you and the Lord?

 GOD never intended for the trials that I have faced to destroy me. He uses these challenges to bring me closer to Him, not farther away. I am trying to learn to be anxious for nothing and take my troubles to Him in prayer.  I am learning to have absolute confidence that He Is THE Answer.  He will use this as an opportunity to strengthen and mature me in my faith.  When I place my faith in him, He will give me His Peace that surpasses all understanding!

What are one or two encouraging thoughts you could share with someone who’s going through a valley right now?

God has not forgotten you.  He promises that He will never desert you, nor forsake you.   

I know that you may be thinking, "I don't know how I could ever get through this." or you may be battling powerful feelings of despair, suffering, confusion, fear, worry, and even anger.  

Remember that as difficult as this life storm may be, GOD cares very deeply about you, and is attentive to every detail of your life—even those things that burden your heart. He hears your cries and sees your pain.

In the midst of sadness and uncertainty, His hand is there to guide you; His strength is there to support you. You are never out of His reach.

Sin Magnets – A Heart Like His

 Saul disguised himself by putting on different clothes and set out with two of his men.  They came to the woman at night, and Saul said, “Consult a spirit for me.  Bring up for me the one I tell you” (1 Samuel 28:8) 

What are the general moods or circumstances or times of day when you find yourself most susceptible to familiar temptations?   

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8)   All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God and I certainly count myself in that number.

I always found myself susceptible to temptation when I felt most alone and defeated.  It is at those times I find myself tempted so sin either explicitly or complicity.  I may fail to love or forgive others, or fail to do things I ought to do—and that is sin.

GOD has expectations of his people.  He has made a tremendous investment in our lives and made us well able for whatever challenges and difficulties life may hold for us. 

 

How could you use this information to guard your heart from sin’s most convenient, compelling playgrounds?

When I sin it does not mean I am no longer God's children. My fellowship with God may be broken, but my relationship is not. 

I remind myself that God stands ready to forgive me and I need to turn to Him immediately. God wants to help me to avoid sin in the future.  To do so I have to make a conscience decision to live according to God's standards and values. 

Silence – A Heart Like His

 

He inquired of the LORD, but the LORD did not answer him 1 Samuel 28:6

Has GOD been silent in your life lately?  Is He not appearing to answer your prayers?  What do you think He may be meaning by this?

There is a difference between being convinced that God is not listening and God actually not listening.  God answers the prayer of the believer but sometimes we don't see the results for weeks or even years.  If you are alert to His presence I will find Him all around you.

 GOD is very much there and is always listening and acting on my behalf even when I think that he has turned his back on me. GOD promises that all things will work together for the good of those who love Him.   

What does His silence make you want to do?

When God is silent, we go through a myriad of emotions. We ask questions like, "What am I doing wrong? What do I need to fix in my life? Where are you, God? Do you even care?"

Even though it may be hard to do, I keep holding on to His hand.  Even when I don't understand, I know I WILL find Him and I WILL hear Him again.  He really is there and closer than I could have ever imagined, hoped for, or thought.

A Case Of Overkill – A Heart Like His

 

So Achish trusted David thinking, “Since he has made himself detestable to his people Israel, he will be my servant forever” (1 Samuel 27:12)

Think of a time when the pressure of life really got to you and you did something rash or irrational in response.  What was the fallout from that?

It’s hard to just pick one incident but I will try.  I was so tired of being single and alone that I jumped into a relationship that was not a good one for me or my children.  The relationship was an attempt for me to tread water but instead I felt like I was drowning.  I found the courage to leave despite the difficult circumstances in my life but in the end I felt more like a failure than I did before the relationship.  I still beat myself up over the whole thing but I realize that while the decision to rush into the relationship was not a good one I did come out of it a stronger person. 

How do you handle things when your faith is starting to run thin, when GOD’s face is particularly hard to see and His voice hard to hear?

I try to remember Paul’s command in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing.”  Sometimes I must remind myself that GOD is actively involved and engaged in my thoughts and actions even if I don’t always see it in the moment.  Prayer is an essential part of my life with Christ.  I try to make prayer my first response to every fearful situation, every anxious thought, and every undesired task that God commands.

There Too Many Faces Of David's Love - A Heart Like His

 

When David’s servants came to Abigail at Carmel they said to her, “David sent us to bring you to him as a wife” 1 Samuel 25:40

What sins and temptations regularly draw you to places where avoidable trouble becomes predictably inevitable?

Inevitably my prideful insistence that I can control things in my life over which I have no control gets me into trouble.  I have only to look back at my life for examples of times when I insisted my way was the right way even when I knew that the choices I was making went against GOD’s word. 
I know God answers prayer and now I look forward to what he is doing in our lives. I know it is for good.
Where do you usually feel the tension first when your ways and GOD’s ways begin to part? 
I feel tension and panic when GOD’s plan and my plan are divergent.  Sometimes it is difficult to walk by Faith and not by sight.  This is why it is so vital to first present our plans to Him and ask for assurance that God is in favor of our decisions.

Never give up on God. Never allow yourself to be determined solely by what ordinary perception tells you. Rather look with the eyes of Faith and see what God is up to.

A Chance For Revenge - A Heart Like His

Look at the corner of your robe in my hand, for I cut it off, but I didn't kill you.  Look and recognize that there is no evil or rebellion in me.  I haven't sinned against you even though you are hunting me down to take my life" (1 Samuel 24:11)

How easily does a vengeful spirit creep in on you?  What have been some of the more recent things that have set it off or at least made it feel like a reasonable option? 

It was easier to thirst for vengeance when I was wronged before I was saved.  Now I find myself working to put my beliefs into action.

A recent example happened when I visited my Mother last month.  At the end of my visit my sister Debbie lashed out at me for no apparent reason.  I knew my sister Mary had a hand in it but I didn't know exactly what her role in the whole incident was. 

In the past I might have called my sister Mary to confront her to find out why she was angry only to have any and all words I would have said twisted beyond recognition and repeated back to my sister Debbie.  This would only ramp the argument up to another level.

Instead I prayed on the whole confrontation.  I prayed not for vengeance instead I prayed that my sister find some peace.  Each and every day I prayed for Debbie and my sister Mary rather than fantasize how I would get even with them.

Then without warning a few weeks later when I called my Mom she handed the phone over to my sister Debbie.  Debbie was asking questions about a situation one of my nieces was facing in her classroom and without missing a beat I gave her advice to help her daughter that was

pedagogically sound.

A couple of times she let slip things like "You know crazy parents like Mary" or "This parent is super crazy like Mary".  Oh how easy it would be for me to agree or say thank goodness you see that she's crazy after all that my sister has said and done to my children and I.  Instead I said a silent prayer  and ignored these comments.

Then I started to say to my sister, "Look I don't care how long you stay in that house.  You can stay there for the rest of your life as far as I'm concerned."  That's when she interrupted me.  Out of the blue she apologized to me and began to tell me what Mary had said to her.  I learned she told her that my brother Bill and I were going to push that she sells the house immediately when Mom dies. 

Why would we do that when there is already a will that specifically allows Debbie to remain in the house for a year after Mom's death.  I personally could care less if she stayed there longer if she needs to do that.

Mary told Debbie that Billy and I have ALWAYS been rich and because of that we would demand that Debbie move out immediately.  That in and of itself is hysterical since we all grew up in the same lower middle class household.  I had spent a few years on welfare so I guess I missed those particular rich years that I'd always had.  Debbie bought in to all of this though and was extremely upset. 

By waiting and allowing GOD to handle the situation everything worked out better than it possibly could have otherwise.  You see Mary went on Zillow.com to find out how much similar homes in the area were valued.  She then called Debbie and gave her some figures and then asked her how much she thought we'd get for Dad & Mom's house.  She even sent a Realtor by the house to get his opinion.

Why would you do such a thing unless you thought there was going to be a pay-off soon.  After all Mom is still alive and the home's value depends upon a lot of factors that we can't possibly know now.  She showed herself to my sister who has now reached back out to both my brother and I. 

Why do you think GOD calls us to such a high standard of peacekeeping with one another, even at times when we seem to have grounds not to?

The longer I walk in faith the more I understand the truth in the old saying that revenge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

It is not unusual for humans to feel the desire for vengeance against those who have wronged us.  It is what we do with them is what matters. Don’t allow the anger, bitterness, and/or unforgiveness to fill our souls.

 

It is important to remember that forgiving does not mean that we let those who hurt us “off the hook.”  When we forgive we may let them off our “hook”, but they are still on God’s “hook!” Remember the Lord says, “Vengeance is mine.” So, let Him do His work. He dispenses justice in His own time.  God knows the heart, mind and motives of our enemies. We don't. God is able to heal, restore, or use the wrong that has been done against you for good.

 

As difficult as it may be we should try to pray for the salvation of the person who wronged us, the thing that they did, and ask God to not only work in their life, but keep them from doing harm against others.

 

It is not possible to be at peace with all people (Romans 12:7). As Christians we feel that we are required to fix every broken relationship and live in harmony with everyone. Unfortunately, some relationships just will not work out. It is OK to leave them behind and go on with others.

 

Count Your Blessings - A Heart Like His

Saul searched for him every day, but GOD did not hand David over to him (1 Samuel 23:14)

What would have to change in us for gratitude to become a more ready response of ours, even in times of adversity and trouble?

Thanks come easy when all is going well. Most people tend to take for granted the good that is already present in their lives so we forget to be grateful.

It's hard to feel grateful when we get blindsided by adversity. We tend to react to with stress, negativity, tension, or anxiety rather than gratitude.  When things don’t go our way, it is important to remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit.  God knows what He is doing, even if we don't.

Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack in our lives to the abundance that is already in our lives.  I think it is interesting to note that research shows that feeling gratitude calms the nervous system, lowers blood pressure, and reduces stress.  How have you seen thanksgiving at work in someone’s life, and what that person taught you about GOD and about yourself?

Sadly for a number of years I surrounded myself with people who were mired in pain, anguish, and helplessness.  It wasn’t because I felt superior in anyway, it was more like water seeking its own level. We were all broken and we sought out other people who were like us hoping to fix ourselves without giving thought to how impossible that was.   

When I began keeping a gratitude journal I found myself taking inventory of all the blessings GOD had bestowed on me.  I began living a happier life once I stopped taking for granted all that was around me.  

For Crying Out Loud – A Heart Like His

I cry aloud to the LORD; I plead aloud to the LORD for mercy.  I our out my complaint before Him; I reveal my trouble to Him. (1 Samuel 142:1-2)What level of fear, or rage, or abandonment, or bewilderment are you in right now?

As some of you already know I grew up in the quintessential dysfunctional family.  I have struggled with the challenges of dealing with my own struggles as well as the struggles of my brothers and sisters as we have tried to make it through this journey we call life. 

As a child I was often placed in the role of being my mother’s emotional caretaker at a young age.  I saw myself as a failure because I often fell short in this role. I often felt resentful, inadequate, unlovable, and powerless.  Eventually I was marginalized as a person, demonized, and often placed in the role of the family scapegoat.

With my Father’s death earlier this year I am extremely concerned about my Mother.  She has always been very child-like and dependent and with Dad gone I reach out to her every week with a phone call to find out how she is doing and ask if there is anything I can do for her.

My sister Debbie and her daughters have been living with my parents for years now.   As my parents’ health declined she helped them get to their doctor’s appointments, made sure they got their medicine, etc.  My father entrusted her to carry out his wishes and I respected that and realized that she  was carrying a heavy load.

One would think that this would be a time that we would coalesce as a family.  One MIGHT think that if one was speaking about a “normal family.”  Instead the fractures grow deeper in my family. 

When Darryl offered to take me along on his business trip to Baltimore I was thrilled.  I haven’t been to Baltimore in years and since it was only a two hour drive to my parent’s home from there it would be the perfect opportunity to spend some time with my Mother as well as to see my children and grandchildren. 

When I arrived on Friday, my sister said she was going to take the opportunity to go to the grocery store and that was fine with me.  It would allow me to spend time with Mom while Debbie got a break.  Dan brought the kids over and we spent a couple of hours with her before Debbie got home. 

I didn’t even think it odd that when she got home she plopped down at the table sans groceries and got on the cell phone.  I went to the kitchen to get a drink of water before we left and I overheard her tell the person on the other end, “Yeah, Cathy and her clan are over here now.  Ok. I’ll let you go.  Are you getting ready to go grocery shopping? Oh that’s right I called you.”

Immediately I assumed that the person on the other end of the line was my sister Mary.  Why it was important to report that I was there with my “clan” I didn’t know but I tried to keep with my promise of giving my family issues to God because it’s definitely above my pay grade. 

It was getting late and we headed out for some dinner.  I decided not to give the report to my sister but the Balkanization of the family begins anew.  In this particular dynamic it is Mary and Debbie perpetuate the dysfunctional behavior we grew up with by pitting one child against another.

The next day the plan was to head back over to my Mother’s house with both of my sons, all my grandchildren, and my brother Bill.  Originally we had planned to take my Mom to visit Dad’s grave but since Mom had just had some surgery done on her eye she wouldn’t be able to go to the cemetery. 

My brother Bill and my son Dan had felt that they had been personally snubbed when it came time for my Dad to be interred because Debbie arranged for it to happen at a time when she and all her girls could go but Dan and Bill would be at work.  Both had offered alternatives but Debbie stuck to her original plans and there were some hurt feelings.  I guess I had hoped that there would be some closure if we could all go there and maybe say a prayer or something.  I had even told Debbie about wanting to take Mom there so there was no secret or attempt to prevent her from coming with us.

Since Mom was not able to challenge we changed our plans and decided just to spend some time with her.  I thought that would do her a world of good since the last time I spoke to her she told me how lonely she gets.  I thought it was a good move all the way around.

Debbie once again decided to disappear not too long after we arrived saying she wanted to take a break and go into town and go grocery shopping.  She said she’d be back in two hours and that was fine with me.  I didn’t beg her to stay.  I didn’t make it an issue.  I didn’t take it personally.  I honestly felt she could probably use a break.

Everyone wound up outside sitting and talking while I brushed Mom’s hair and helped her when she required assistance.  I was really having a good time.  We talked about sports.  We talked about politics.  We talked about Texas and about Germany.   No one said anything negative about anyone and I felt the get together went well.  After all why should we only come together when someone dies?  Why can’t we reach out as adults and find a way to heal?

After a couple of hours Debbie called to say she would be gone for another hour.  I told her that was no problem and when she came back two hours later then that I didn’t say anything negative about that.  As far as I knew there was no problem.

Darryl invited my brother out to dinner with our family and he called his family to join us.  You would have thought that there would be nothing left to talk about but we sat in that restaurant for another hour and a half talking the whole time. 

Towards the end of the evening I learned that Bill and his wife hadn’t had a party inviting anyone over because Debbie had a big fight with Bill.  Debbie felt Bill owed one of her daughter’s as well as herself an apology.  Bill claimed he never said what he was accused of saying so he wasn’t about to apologize.  Debbie was also mad because Bill was friends with my son Dan.

This is a whole other crazy story which involves my nephew bragging about the money he was getting for college and how he wasn’t even going.  He took photos of things he bought with my uncle’s money.  I had no clue about this and neither did my son Dan.  My son Mike saw it and told my nephew he shouldn’t be putting that stuff on the internet and how that was basically stealing.  This got my nephew angry who then told the nieces that “my son” was trying to keep them from getting money from my uncle.  He told them that my uncle was going to cut everyone off because “my son” was running his mouth. 

This turned into a free for all which not only had both of my sisters calling my oldest son and cursing him out but calling me all kinds of names and saying hurtful things about me when in actuality none of my sons nor I had any such plan to reveal my nephew’s deception or try to get my nieces college money cut.  It was due to all this craziness I had basically stopped calling my father every week for a few months because he was taking sides and throwing my boys and I under the bus.

It turns out that when my father died my sister Debbie and my sister Mary had decided that they weren’t going to call my son to tell him my father had died.  This was an attempt to “get even” with Dan for something that was not of his making.

Yes it was hurtful to learn this.  Yes it would have been easy to adopt a get-even attitude.  Instead I told my son, “Let’s give this to God because he is much smarter than either one of us.  Neither one of us can make this situation right.  There’s just no way that we can.”

The next morning Darryl and I had breakfast with the boys and my grandkids and I hated to see it end.  We stopped off at the cemetery and stopped at my Father’s grave as well as my brother’s grave and the graves of my grandparents.  I said a quick prayer and I told my Dad that I looked after Mom for him.

Since I had some time to kill before our flight I decided to call my Mom before we left.  My sister Debbie answered the phone.  She was very cold and told my Mom the call was for her. 

I told my Mom how glad I’d been to spend time with her.  I asked her if she enjoyed having everyone come see her.  She said she did.  We chatted for a few more minutes and I asked if I could talk to my sister Debbie.  I wanted to tell her that I wished we could have spent more time together during my visit.

Once Debbie was on the phone she tore into me.  She said she “sees how I’m all tight with Bill and all.”  She then launched in to a diatribe about how Bill had come to visit one time and didn’t offer to help her with the yard work.  She said that Billy suggested that she ask one of Debbie’s girl’s boyfriends to help her so she didn’t have to do so much. 

She went on about how she’s documenting all of this.  She’d documenting how she threw out her hip helping Dad.  “I don’t know if you realize this but it’s in the will that I get to stay here a year after Mom dies.” She told me.

Actually originally I thought she’d be there until she died so it really didn’t matter to me.  I had written off any inheritance from my parent’s years ago.  Obviously my sister thinks I’m waiting with baited breath for my Mom to die to get my clutches on her estate.  Come on now, estate?  Really?  It’s a house.  Big deal.  I have a house.  I don’t need that house. 

Debbie dug right in there.  “Well when you vultures come circling around I’m just going to wave that paper around and say nothing.”  Fine.  Wave it.  Big deal!  Again I could care less about the house but I said nothing because Debbie was on a roll.

She told me that she didn’t know who I was coming over to the house and telling Mom to listen to her and eat for her because that’s not going to magically make things better.  She told me that Mom was bugging her about her compression socks when I left.  She told me I could have killed her if I put the wrong ones on her. (By the way I didn’t put any socks on her I just asked her if she was supposed to be wearing them.)

Then after her rambling martyr dialogue she finally told me that she’s going to shut up now because she may have said too much and then slammed the phone down.

I cried.  I didn’t deserve that.  Mary hasn’t come down once since Dad’s been dead but she feels that Mary is the only one who’s there for her.  She’s the only one she can commiserate with and of course the one who is always ready to charge in on her high horse as not so much as a hero but rather she runs rapidly to spread strife among family strife.  In this role she can be malicious, vicious, and vindictive.

I prayed for God to help me during this time but I also decided to pray for both of my sisters.  I told God that I will put my trust in him and that I will try to let his will be done instead of trying to be “RIGHT”.

How have you been dealing with all that?  What’s been working?  And what’s just been making things worse?

Sometimes I have retreated from the problems I am facing.  Sometimes I confront the problems head-on.  There are times when I want to throw my hands up in the air while other times I want fix everything somehow, some way.  Obviously one can never truly run away from their problems.  Working towards a solution and praying for GOD’s guidance is the only way to make things better. 

Calling All Cave Dwellers - A Heart Like His

Every man who was desperate, in debt or discontented rallied around him, and he became their leader.  (1 Samuel 22:2)

How do you feel towards the needy people in your life, whether strangers you pass on the street or those who live in much closer proximity?

I think we all go through periods of time when we are in need whether it is monetary, spiritual, or emotional.  There are days when we all feel especially vulnerable. There are times when we crave encouragement, when we need to vent our feelings, or when we just want someone to tell us how special or wonderful we are.

I try to reach out to others but I feel more comfortable if I am a step removed.  I don’t mind buying Thanksgiving turkeys for twenty-five families but I give it to the church to distribute.  I coupon and use some of my stockpile to donate to food pantries but I feel funny about offering to buy a street person a meal.

When I lived in DC there was an obstacle course of people begging for change and I’ve even had one chase me down the street demanding I give him money. 

When a student tells me he’s hungry or needs school supplies I feel OK about giving those things directly because I know that child.  I know his/her circumstances. 

It’s difficult for me to counsel others when they are going through a crisis because I don’t feel that I have the training to help them.  I look at my life and see how I’ve screwed my life up and I am afraid that I will only make their problems worse.  I’m better at helping student who want to quit school and I talk them into getting their diploma.

There are some needy types are people who drain your energy because they constantly require your attention, affection, or affirmation. In fact, they are desperate for any type of support you can give them.  I have more than my fair share of these emotional vampires in my family.

I understand that when people lack sufficient emotional nurturing in childhood they never grow past the stage of needing to have their worth confirmed.  Many times people who are needy find themselves living in an arrested stage of development, still looking desperately for the emotional support they lacked when they were growing up.  We grew up in a family devoid of the veneer of basic parenting so it’s easy to see why we struggle with this.

I would say that I am a paradox when it comes to my dealings with people in my life who are in need.  One might say my heart is willing but my flesh not so much as GOD requires.  I am trying to learn how to live in harmony with others, be more sympathetic, and be compassionate and humble

What do our responses toward those in need reveal about our own heart’s condition? 

I believe that my response towards those in need does show a certain arrested development in my spiritual maturity.  I need to rely on GOD for wisdom guidance so that I can grow stronger in my walk with GOD.

Flashes of Anger - A Heart Like His

Saul was furious and resented this song.  “They credited tens of thousands to David,” he complained, “but they only credited me with thousands.  What more can he have but the kingdom?” (1 Samuel  18:8)

What have you seen injured or destroyed in your life by angry reactions, by those initial outbursts that flare up and do their worst damage in a moment’s time?

I think for most of us it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.  I will admit that there were times when my first reaction to anger may be to attack, hurt, destroy and defend!  In fact it is never OK to use anger to hurt people in any way!

Anger is a strong emotion. Strong emotions can get in the way of clear thinking and commonsense.  On the other hand, when people ignore their anger, it has nowhere else to go, and can often turn upon its owner.

How do you prevent these kinds of events from occurring?  What disciplines could keep us protected from either inflicting or internalizing the hurt they cause?

I've finally learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.  Anger is a normal emotion and there is nothing wrong with being angry.  What matters is how I handle it and what I do when I’m angry. 

Rather than having anger control me, I need to think about what I have been doing when I get mad. Sometimes I yell and scream and sometimes I withdraw and sulk? I know I have you hurt people with the words I have used. 

If I give myself some time and space I can articulate why I am angry so that I can act rather than react – ("I feel angry because…")  I need to acknowledge that It is about being able to agree that you are not going to agree, but that it's okay for others to have their own opinions.

One Amazing Covenant - A Heart Like His

Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself.  (1 Samuel 18:3)

Do you have the privilege of knowing someone like Jonathan?  Have you known anyone who has given up power or position for God’s will?  Who and how?

Jonathan and David are good examples of how friends treat each other. They should love each other and care about their needs. They should encourage them and help them in tough times. It’s a good example to us of how friends should be.

Jonathan could have been upset that David would be king instead of him. After all, he was the next in line. However, God had anointed David to be king and Jonathan knew that he must follow God.  Jonathan loved David and was happy for him to be the next king.

Friends are happy when others succeed.  They are not jealous or envious. They care and love at all times.  Unfortunately all too often jealousy rears its ugly head in my relationships partly because I fear that I do not have value. I seem to look for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than me.

Unfortunately it seems as though I've always been a part of a competitive relationship in which one person’s success is seen as a threat to the other person’s well-being.  It’s very unhealthy and yet time and time again I seem to seek out such relationships, willing to down-play my achievements and/or not even try to move forward because to do so may risk the relationship. 

I fear the same in my relationship with God that I just don’t measure up and that I will never please him.  I’m working on learning how to give up the power I THINK I have in my life and put my dreams, my goals, and my talent, into God’s hands.  I MUST stop telling GOD what I don’t have or can’t do because equipped me with everything I need to fulfill my destiny. 

How have you sensed God calling you beyond the norm and the expected to give up something that might rightfully be yours but needs to be given over to His greater plan?

GOD makes the resource of His strength available to us.  I believe that I have been very guilty of waiting GOD to give it to me without much work on my side of the equation. He brings His strength to us as we seek Him and rely on Him instead of our own strength.  The fact is that is that you really do reap what you sow if you are putting forth little effort in your Christian walk, you should expect little result. 

This is where I am in my walk with GOD.  I’m trying desperately to learn what is required of me.  What is GOD’s plan for me?